[ Dean boldly blocked his way, arms thrown out like some kind of football player attempting to block an oncoming onslaught, unwilling to let Sam storm his way through. He bumped into him one way and then the next, blocking him into his corner purposefully and refusing to let him go by because that's not what this was going to be about.
Dean wasn't going to harass him, wasn't going to start up another fight just because he could. He understood the urge to go back home, he did, but he also understood why it tore their father up. He just.. had a better hold on himself, and he slapped his hands down onto Sam's shoulders, trying to hold back all the fierceness in his body, waiting him out and putting up a fight through sheer willpower that he wouldn't stand down. ]
[ Just because Dean was blocking him didn't mean that Sam gave up that easy, and he gave his brother a good sharp elbow to the shoulder before he gave up, glowering at him when he was held at arm's length. His brother was on his dad's side--he pretty much always was, and Sam had had enough of it.
But when Dean offered to take him for a drive he faltered, and while he was still blatantly pissed, he relaxed just enough to stop being on the precipice of wrestling his older brother to be able to run to the bathroom instead.
Dean grunted at the sharp elbow that nailed into him and he grabbed Sam by the shoulders, holding him back a step purposefully, just to be stern about the whole thing. Just because he was offering Sam an ounce of escapism didn't mean that he wasn't the big brother here, and he scowled for at least a second before he eased off, heaved a sigh and took a step back. It helped matters that Sam relaxed as well, both of them returning to some semblance of their own normalcy.
As normal as they ever got.
But all of this still hurt and Dean just wanted to make Sam feel as if his little brother had a place within his family, that they were two against the world no matter what. He wanted Sam to know that he would save him in only the ways he knew how, even if he couldn't change their father, even if he never tried. ]
C'mon. We'll go grab something to eat. [ And with that, Dean was turning and walking off, hand on the doorknob while he waited for Sam to catch up. ]
[ Sam was still feeling pretty furious, even if it was hard to be angry with the offer of being taken out for food in the Impala. But that didn't stop him from thrusting his balled fists into his pockets and making the whole walk over after Dean a parade of grumpiness. His shoulders were hunched, his expression pinched and stormy - If you keep glowering like that then when the wind blows on it it'll get stuck that way -- and he made sure to scuff his shoes with every step.
Out the door they went, then across to the car, and he didn't look at Dean at all the whole time. When he sank down into the passenger's side seat, it didn't even occur to him to protest the possibility that they might end up at Plucky Pennywhistles. It was just good enough that he was going out in the car with just Dean, that he got to sit up front, and even if his brother wasn't going to let him pick out the music, at least he got to see over the dashboard for a change.
He was sullen and quiet until the care was moving. ]
I just want to know what it was like. Having a home, a place that you know. [ A pause. ] I want to know if I'd recognize it. I know I wasn't there for very long, and you're not supposed to have memories of being a baby, but maybe I would. Maybe. Maybe I'd know it was home too.
[ Dean had no intention of taking him to Plucky's. Not because he wasn't enough of an asshole, but because now wasn't the time to be an asshole, and besides- any excuse to get himself into the front seat of the Impala was an excuse he could get behind. Besides, Sammy kind of needed it right now and to a certain extent, Dean understood it. Maybe he didn't voice those facts, didn't put words to the way he felt about the past they'd come from, but he got the need behind what Sam was feeling.
He understood wanting to look back, wanting to see. Just like he understood his father wanting to wipe it all away and stare forward, because looking into their past meant splintering your attention, meant grieving over what no longer was. Dean didn't know how to be both worlds, but he understood what each one implied and his little brother - right now at least - came first.
Backing the car up out of the spot, looking over his shoulder, Dean mulled for a moment before he turned and struck out forward, hitting the road and not looking back. ]
Don't think I gotta tell you how hard it'd be for him to go back there. And yeah, I know, before you even fuckin' say it Sammy, I know it's not all about him. I know, okay. But he wants our eyes on the prize, not on-- I don't know, us trying to remember the smell of fresh laundry.
[ Sam shook his head. His brother's explanation only made him that much angrier, and he grit his teeth, because he didn't want to be angry with Dean - he didn't - but sure enough he was repeating over more of their Dad's explanations, trying to convince Sam to fall for it.
He scowled, kicking his feet into the footwell. There was plenty of excess space down there, and Sam figured that sooner or later he'd be able to kick a hole in it. ]
I don't care what he wants, Dean. It's not like he cares what we want. When was the last time he heard what we wanted and made it happen, huh? When was the last time we stayed in a school I liked, or...I don't know. Stopped driving when I was feeling carsick?
[ He sighed, and turned to stare out the passenger side window. ]
[ It was valid. All of it was valid, more so than Dean usually knew what to do with, and for a good few seconds he just listened to the thud of Sam's feet in the footwell, pounding away at the floor of the car, kicking them both into oblivion. Dean wanted to have the right answers, but contradicting his father even without him in the vicinity seemed so wrong. Dean didn't know how to both be a good son and the best big brother at the same time and staring out the windshield only helped so much.
Sam was hurting.
Maybe it was one of those times where being the big brother just had to win out. ]
I get it, Sam, I do. He's a dick. [ Doesn't even leave us enough cash to get groceries half the time, he wants to say, but he swallows the words because that's his problem. Feeding Sam, taking care of Sam, that's his problem, and not something that Sam is meant to worry about or even hear. ]
I'm not sayin' he's not, I'm just- i'm giving him the words he's not gonna say. Doesn't make up for the shit he does wrong, I know, or the shit he makes us do just cause he says we've gotta, but you got me to make up for it, right?
[ Reticently, he looked up toward his brother, begrudgingly giving Dean the fact that he'd admitted their father wasn't the king of the world. It was a little gesture, but between them it was pretty big, especially considering that Sam had always thought that Dean was their father's biggest fan.
He bit his lip, and stopped kicking the car, sinking back in his seat a little bit, still sullen and miserable, but trying to not be as much of a monster. Dean was trying for him, so Sam would try a little bit as well. ]
Dean...
[ He looked down at his feet again, then away, then back to Dean. ]
Do we have to go get ice cream? Couldn't you...um. Couldn't you teach me to drive?
[ Dean was their father's biggest fan. He was. That just didn't mean that Dean couldn't, occasionally, acknowledge his faults. It was nigh impossible for him to do it, even more so in the light of day, but evening had struck hours ago and Dean could speak the words without hearing them crumble along his fault lines, without wanting to apologize to his father's broad back. He'd just pretend he hadn't even spoken them later and they'd all move on with their lives, but for now, he and Sam were bonded against a mutual enemy.
And, Dean had thought, going to get ice cream.
Apparently not.
At the request, Dean glanced over a a couple of times, doing a double take and going between a furrowed brow and the crack of a grin within seconds. ]
You seriously wanna learn? [ It wasn't that strange of a request, Dean noted after a couple of moments, especially considering how old Sam was. Not that John would let Sam behind the wheel of Baby, but Dean wasn't John. ]
[ He repeated it more certainly this time. Honestly he thought he was overdue to know how to drive. What if he had to come and save them in the middle of the night! What if they both got arrested, and Sam had to park the Impala under their window to escape?
But Sam had never wanted to ask his father to teach him. The possibility of that filled him with enormous trepidation--outright terror, actually. John wasn't an easy teacher at all. He hadn't been an easy teacher when Sam was learning to shoot. He'd never been interested in helping him to do his math homework. He'd been vicious when Sam spent too long in the shower, or left his bed untidy.
Sam knew to leave it was best, but he needed desperately to learn. And he was out with Dean now, so why not? ]
[ Dean didn't have to think it over for long; not really. He could have, probably should have - factored in how pissed his father going to be, thought about what would happen if Sam hit a curb or anything else at all and jacked up the paint job. It'd be on his ass and he'd get the punishment doled out for it, that much he knew was ultimately true.
But Sam had to learn eventually.
Might as well be his teacher. ]
Yeah, okay, let me just-- abandoned parking lot, here we come.
[ It was late enough that it wouldn't take very long to find some store front with an empty lot, and while a bigger one would be far superior, Dean would have to take what they could get considering the size of the town they'd stopped in. ]
[ It took all of Dean agreeing to it for Sam to start getting excited about the prospect of getting behind the wheel of the car for real. The buzz hummed in his brain, excitement tingling as he sat forward looking out the windshield, waiting impatiently for an empty car park to come into view.
And then there it was. It wasn't that big, sure, but it seemed hat way to Sam, who was incredibly excited already--way more excited than he could have been by ice cream.
He flicked his eyes across to his brother, barely acknowledging his threat-which-wasn't-a-threat, because he was going to get to drive. Hopefully. He could reach the pedals, right? Maybe only just, they seemed to be a long way down. ]
[ But Dean flashed a sideways grin at his kid brother, well aware that Sam was radiating the kind of excitement that befell their life so few and far between. It was worth it just for that, just to see Sam bubble up with enthusiasm, his angst left behind like so much stormy weather. Dean still wasn't sure about the whole thing, but he had to go in full throttle or else he'd be a shitty teacher, and so he pulled into the lot steadily enough, pulling into the middle of the lot and then turning off the ignition.
It took him a second after that and a bemused shake of his head before he tossed the keys over to Sam and began to get out of the drivers seat, feeling as if he was leaving something important behind.
Or perhaps feeling as if Sam's youth was being left in the backseat, amidst old songs and GI Joe's. It was bittersweet but Dean bumped by Sam as he walked his way on over to the passenger seat, waiting for his little brother to get situated. ]
[ Sam fumbled the keys, considering how excited he was to get his hands on them, but when he had a tight grip, he dashed out of the car as fast as he could, and he almost bumped straight into Dean and bowled him over.
Then, with a little more respect, and his heart beating fast in his chest, Sam dropped down into the driver's seat. He felt awkward, sat back in the seat and at least a mile away from the pedals. ]
You and dad are so tall... Can't I move the seat forward, or something?
[ He squinted over the dashboard nervously, then looked over toward Dean, awkward and worried. Suddenly all of this seemed so intimidating, and he wanted his brother to help. ]
Yeah, course. Rather have you adjusting the seat then trying to reach the pedals from there.
[ The tease of it sat at the back of his tongue, but Dean leaned forward in his own seat, fumbling uncaringly beneath Sam's legs and trying to find the catch that would let the seat come sliding on towards the dashboard. His tongue poked out from between his lips as he rummaged until he finally grabbed it and gave it a pull before leaning back once again, letting Sam be the one to adjust himself. ]
You wanna be able to reach without crushing yourself up against the dash.
[ Sam paused, watching Dean reach over and scrabble under the chair. When suddenly it moved abruptly, he got the idea, and when Dean sat back he reached down to adjust it himself, sliding the chair slightly further forward, poking his feet out in front of him until he found the pedals.
He had to crook his elbows to be able to hold onto the wheel, sat slightly forward along the seat of the chair, but Sam knew he was going to grow into it, even if it felt like he was going to be short forever.
Now, uh- you know the difference between the pedals?
[ Dean situated himself back in his own chair, but he did so that he was slightly turned towards Sam, as if expecting his brother to start up the car at any second. Which, really- Dean had been far too enthusiastic when he'd learned too drive, too ready to piss off John trying to do everything at once.
He knew mistakes were inevitable in this, which was why he had to be just as involved, just as much a part: to keep the mistakes as minimal as possible, otherwise the car would end up through the nearest storefront. And then their dad would know and both of them would be left out in the cold. But Sam had to be allowed to not be perfect either, not that he had to worry about that in Dean's eyes; he was always good enough.
[ Maybe mistakes were inevitable. Sam liked to think they weren't, and that was why he'd spent so many of the hours they were traveling studying the car's manual, amongst other things. The road was just boring, and Sam would do anything to keep his mind busy.
Unfortunately, though, the car manual was not a driving instructor. So while Sam knew which pedal was which, he didn't know how hard to put his foot down on it.
[ And Dean? Dean knew the pitfalls of a clutch and gears and changing all of them at once, the slight adjustment of pressure, the shifting of your foot gently but with enough effort to keep the car going. It was all a lot to take in and instruction and practice were both the only way to go about it.
Just like making mistakes was a necessity. Sometimes, the only way you learned really. Unless you were hunting, in which case mistakes weren't allowed because you ended up dead and then some. But he supposed Sam stalling the car once or twice before he asked for legitimate help was acceptable- let Sam feel the car shake itself to a halt and have him know what it was to just not have a clue.
And so Dena finally shrugged his shoulders and waved his hand, settling back into the seat as if being a co-pilot was the easiest thing in the world. ]
[ Sure, easy peasy. Just sit there and watch how a pro does it, Dean. That's the plan, anyway. Sam's expression shifted to something much more intent, and he turned the key, setting the car to a low, intent rumbling. Their father always kept the car carefully tuned, and she didn't so much as splutter or bang.
He put his foot on the clutch, pushed the car from park up into first gear - not straight into second the way their father always did - then put his foot down on the gas pedal, without lifting off the clutch. The engine revved, Sam realised his mistake and lifted his foot off the clutch too hard and too fast, and the car jumped forward a meters in a grand lurch before the engine stalled.
Sam, furiously embarrassed, flushed and glared at the dash and ignored his brother who he was sure was laughing at him. ]
Shut up. [ He growled, forgetting all about putting the car back into park and turning the key again. ]
[ The whole thing kind of went how Dean expected it to. Not that he wanted Sammy to fail at his first attempt at driving, but clutches and gears and pedals weren't as easy as one, two, three, and unless you had some kinda direction under your feet, you were bound to fuck up at least once or twice. It was just the way it went. Dean didn't know how else to explain it to Sam without letting him botch it and, well--
He botched it.
The car jumped and jerked and shuddered to a triumphant halt as Sam kind of failed at the whole endeavor and Dean kept his gaze carefully forward for a few seconds until he slid his attention sideways, looking to Sam with interest. He got the proverbial slap to the fact that he expected when he hadn't even cracked a goddamn grin, and so he swung his attention right out the passenger window, smiling broad just to get it out of his system.
Couldn't be perfect at everything. And so Dean cleared his throat and rubbed at his knees, nodding a few times and readjusting himself in his seat. ]
Start her up again. [ No, he wasn't shutting up. But he was the big brother. Shutting up wasn't part of the job. ]
[ Sam grumbled in frustration, his hands gripping tighter on the wheel for a moment, but Dean was right there. He wasn't going away even though Sam was pretty sure that this would be easier without him sitting there all smug. Sure, he hid his smile in the window, but the thing about glass was it reflected, and Sam saw the grin just as much as he heard it. Dean coughed, and he might as well have said "I'm laughing my ass off at you, Sam."
It wasn't his fault. This was harder than it looked. He had to do all these things in order, but the second he moved on to thinking about the next thing, he didn't get to it fast enough. It had to be natural, fluid, but how was he going to get it without practice? Wasn't like he was allowed to touch the controls of the Impala, uh, ever.
So Sam narrowed his eyes intently at his brother, like he could wish him to disappear if he glared hard enough, and said: ]
Yeah, and you're a fucker for not asking for help.
[ Dean knew better than to reach across and fluff up Sammy's hair soothingly and so he kept his hands to himself. If anything, he should've stretched out more, gotten himself comfortable, been the biggest prick possible but instead he situated himself in the seat so he was at attention and looked over at Sam carefully. ]
You gonna keep tryin' to do it yourself or you want a few pointers?
[ Because Dean knew how Sam could be, wanting to figure it all out on his own. And they'd be here all night if that was the case, but if he could just get his little brother going them maybe they had a chance in hell as to letting him figure out how to start Baby up. Dean wasn't sure, they'd just have to get past this little grumbly hump between them, but he waited, eyebrows raised, trying to be innocent enough. ]
[ Soothingly? Sam's feelings were hurt like he'd been punched in the gut, and he pulled his shoulders up around his ears and glowered at the front console, focusing again on his feet, thinking through the actions. ]
Screw off, Dean. I can do it on my own.
[ Dean was right. Sam was determined to figure it out on his own - more now that his brother had been a jerk to him, and he went back to work on the car. Again the Impala reared forward, and this time it went five meters before it stalled, revving fast all the time. Sam was one brake pedal away from doing a rubber-burning race car start right there. Which would have been cool, if that was the skill he was trying to perfect.
He grunted in frustration and tried again, focusing this time on just stopping the car from stalling, and that meant it stalled even faster, not sure what he should do once the sputter started sounding, and not wanting to push on the throttle if he didn't know where he was going to go. ]
I can't--I can't do it! [ He yelped, after the third try almost ended up with the nose of the car buried in the sidewalk at the other end of the car park. ]
[ Alright, so now the attacks were getting, well- heated, and Dean rolled his eyes up towards the ceiling of the Impala, annoyance only just starting to ripple off him. Dean could only hold it back for so long, the urge to shove Sam aside and forcibly teach him how to do it crawling under his skin. But he contained his urge to grab Sammy's damn shoes and practically stuffed his hands under his thighs, waiting out Sam and his childishness.
And like, expected, he didn't have a clue what he was doing.
Admittedly, Dean was halfway worried they'd end up stalled halfway back out in the middle of the road while Sam had his tantrum, not entirely sure how to fix this without Sam getting offended one way or another, but he was still the big brother here. He still knew what he was doing, and if Sam wanted to learn, then he better start listening up. At least when it came to this. ]
Yeah, you can do it if you'd just lemme tell you how. Jesus, Sam- just- you wanna take half my advice, maybe?
[ Dean finally wrenched himself around in the seat a little, exasperated and trying to make a point. ]
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kickingand 
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[ Dean boldly blocked his way, arms thrown out like some kind of football player attempting to block an oncoming onslaught, unwilling to let Sam storm his way through. He bumped into him one way and then the next, blocking him into his corner purposefully and refusing to let him go by because that's not what this was going to be about.
Dean wasn't going to harass him, wasn't going to start up another fight just because he could. He understood the urge to go back home, he did, but he also understood why it tore their father up. He just.. had a better hold on himself, and he slapped his hands down onto Sam's shoulders, trying to hold back all the fierceness in his body, waiting him out and putting up a fight through sheer willpower that he wouldn't stand down. ]
You wanna go for a drive?
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But when Dean offered to take him for a drive he faltered, and while he was still blatantly pissed, he relaxed just enough to stop being on the precipice of wrestling his older brother to be able to run to the bathroom instead.
A drive sounded promising. ]
Yeah. Yeah, I wanna go for a drive.
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Dean grunted at the sharp elbow that nailed into him and he grabbed Sam by the shoulders, holding him back a step purposefully, just to be stern about the whole thing. Just because he was offering Sam an ounce of escapism didn't mean that he wasn't the big brother here, and he scowled for at least a second before he eased off, heaved a sigh and took a step back. It helped matters that Sam relaxed as well, both of them returning to some semblance of their own normalcy.
As normal as they ever got.
But all of this still hurt and Dean just wanted to make Sam feel as if his little brother had a place within his family, that they were two against the world no matter what. He wanted Sam to know that he would save him in only the ways he knew how, even if he couldn't change their father, even if he never tried. ]
C'mon. We'll go grab something to eat. [ And with that, Dean was turning and walking off, hand on the doorknob while he waited for Sam to catch up. ]
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Out the door they went, then across to the car, and he didn't look at Dean at all the whole time. When he sank down into the passenger's side seat, it didn't even occur to him to protest the possibility that they might end up at Plucky Pennywhistles. It was just good enough that he was going out in the car with just Dean, that he got to sit up front, and even if his brother wasn't going to let him pick out the music, at least he got to see over the dashboard for a change.
He was sullen and quiet until the care was moving. ]
I just want to know what it was like. Having a home, a place that you know. [ A pause. ] I want to know if I'd recognize it. I know I wasn't there for very long, and you're not supposed to have memories of being a baby, but maybe I would. Maybe. Maybe I'd know it was home too.
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He understood wanting to look back, wanting to see. Just like he understood his father wanting to wipe it all away and stare forward, because looking into their past meant splintering your attention, meant grieving over what no longer was. Dean didn't know how to be both worlds, but he understood what each one implied and his little brother - right now at least - came first.
Backing the car up out of the spot, looking over his shoulder, Dean mulled for a moment before he turned and struck out forward, hitting the road and not looking back. ]
Don't think I gotta tell you how hard it'd be for him to go back there. And yeah, I know, before you even fuckin' say it Sammy, I know it's not all about him. I know, okay. But he wants our eyes on the prize, not on-- I don't know, us trying to remember the smell of fresh laundry.
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He scowled, kicking his feet into the footwell. There was plenty of excess space down there, and Sam figured that sooner or later he'd be able to kick a hole in it. ]
I don't care what he wants, Dean. It's not like he cares what we want. When was the last time he heard what we wanted and made it happen, huh? When was the last time we stayed in a school I liked, or...I don't know. Stopped driving when I was feeling carsick?
[ He sighed, and turned to stare out the passenger side window. ]
It's not fair.
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Sam was hurting.
Maybe it was one of those times where being the big brother just had to win out. ]
I get it, Sam, I do. He's a dick. [ Doesn't even leave us enough cash to get groceries half the time, he wants to say, but he swallows the words because that's his problem. Feeding Sam, taking care of Sam, that's his problem, and not something that Sam is meant to worry about or even hear. ]
I'm not sayin' he's not, I'm just- i'm giving him the words he's not gonna say. Doesn't make up for the shit he does wrong, I know, or the shit he makes us do just cause he says we've gotta, but you got me to make up for it, right?
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He bit his lip, and stopped kicking the car, sinking back in his seat a little bit, still sullen and miserable, but trying to not be as much of a monster. Dean was trying for him, so Sam would try a little bit as well. ]
Dean...
[ He looked down at his feet again, then away, then back to Dean. ]
Do we have to go get ice cream? Couldn't you...um. Couldn't you teach me to drive?
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And, Dean had thought, going to get ice cream.
Apparently not.
At the request, Dean glanced over a a couple of times, doing a double take and going between a furrowed brow and the crack of a grin within seconds. ]
You seriously wanna learn? [ It wasn't that strange of a request, Dean noted after a couple of moments, especially considering how old Sam was. Not that John would let Sam behind the wheel of Baby, but Dean wasn't John. ]
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[ He repeated it more certainly this time. Honestly he thought he was overdue to know how to drive. What if he had to come and save them in the middle of the night! What if they both got arrested, and Sam had to park the Impala under their window to escape?
But Sam had never wanted to ask his father to teach him. The possibility of that filled him with enormous trepidation--outright terror, actually. John wasn't an easy teacher at all. He hadn't been an easy teacher when Sam was learning to shoot. He'd never been interested in helping him to do his math homework. He'd been vicious when Sam spent too long in the shower, or left his bed untidy.
Sam knew to leave it was best, but he needed desperately to learn. And he was out with Dean now, so why not? ]
I want to learn from you.
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But Sam had to learn eventually.
Might as well be his teacher. ]
Yeah, okay, let me just-- abandoned parking lot, here we come.
[ It was late enough that it wouldn't take very long to find some store front with an empty lot, and while a bigger one would be far superior, Dean would have to take what they could get considering the size of the town they'd stopped in. ]
You bang up the car and it's my fault, got it?
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And then there it was. It wasn't that big, sure, but it seemed hat way to Sam, who was incredibly excited already--way more excited than he could have been by ice cream.
He flicked his eyes across to his brother, barely acknowledging his threat-which-wasn't-a-threat, because he was going to get to drive. Hopefully. He could reach the pedals, right? Maybe only just, they seemed to be a long way down. ]
I won't break the car, jerk.
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[ But Dean flashed a sideways grin at his kid brother, well aware that Sam was radiating the kind of excitement that befell their life so few and far between. It was worth it just for that, just to see Sam bubble up with enthusiasm, his angst left behind like so much stormy weather. Dean still wasn't sure about the whole thing, but he had to go in full throttle or else he'd be a shitty teacher, and so he pulled into the lot steadily enough, pulling into the middle of the lot and then turning off the ignition.
It took him a second after that and a bemused shake of his head before he tossed the keys over to Sam and began to get out of the drivers seat, feeling as if he was leaving something important behind.
Or perhaps feeling as if Sam's youth was being left in the backseat, amidst old songs and GI Joe's. It was bittersweet but Dean bumped by Sam as he walked his way on over to the passenger seat, waiting for his little brother to get situated. ]
First thing's making sure you're comfortable.
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Then, with a little more respect, and his heart beating fast in his chest, Sam dropped down into the driver's seat. He felt awkward, sat back in the seat and at least a mile away from the pedals. ]
You and dad are so tall... Can't I move the seat forward, or something?
[ He squinted over the dashboard nervously, then looked over toward Dean, awkward and worried. Suddenly all of this seemed so intimidating, and he wanted his brother to help. ]
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[ The tease of it sat at the back of his tongue, but Dean leaned forward in his own seat, fumbling uncaringly beneath Sam's legs and trying to find the catch that would let the seat come sliding on towards the dashboard. His tongue poked out from between his lips as he rummaged until he finally grabbed it and gave it a pull before leaning back once again, letting Sam be the one to adjust himself. ]
You wanna be able to reach without crushing yourself up against the dash.
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He had to crook his elbows to be able to hold onto the wheel, sat slightly forward along the seat of the chair, but Sam knew he was going to grow into it, even if it felt like he was going to be short forever.
He glanced across at Dean, and grinned. ]
Now what?
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[ Dean situated himself back in his own chair, but he did so that he was slightly turned towards Sam, as if expecting his brother to start up the car at any second. Which, really- Dean had been far too enthusiastic when he'd learned too drive, too ready to piss off John trying to do everything at once.
He knew mistakes were inevitable in this, which was why he had to be just as involved, just as much a part: to keep the mistakes as minimal as possible, otherwise the car would end up through the nearest storefront. And then their dad would know and both of them would be left out in the cold. But Sam had to be allowed to not be perfect either, not that he had to worry about that in Dean's eyes; he was always good enough.
But that wasn't the point. ]
no subject
Unfortunately, though, the car manual was not a driving instructor. So while Sam knew which pedal was which, he didn't know how hard to put his foot down on it.
So he nodded at Dean, smirking at him cockily. ]
I got this. Can I start the engine now? Please?
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Just like making mistakes was a necessity. Sometimes, the only way you learned really. Unless you were hunting, in which case mistakes weren't allowed because you ended up dead and then some. But he supposed Sam stalling the car once or twice before he asked for legitimate help was acceptable- let Sam feel the car shake itself to a halt and have him know what it was to just not have a clue.
And so Dena finally shrugged his shoulders and waved his hand, settling back into the seat as if being a co-pilot was the easiest thing in the world. ]
Go for it, kiddo.
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He put his foot on the clutch, pushed the car from park up into first gear - not straight into second the way their father always did - then put his foot down on the gas pedal, without lifting off the clutch. The engine revved, Sam realised his mistake and lifted his foot off the clutch too hard and too fast, and the car jumped forward a meters in a grand lurch before the engine stalled.
Sam, furiously embarrassed, flushed and glared at the dash and ignored his brother who he was sure was laughing at him. ]
Shut up. [ He growled, forgetting all about putting the car back into park and turning the key again. ]
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He botched it.
The car jumped and jerked and shuddered to a triumphant halt as Sam kind of failed at the whole endeavor and Dean kept his gaze carefully forward for a few seconds until he slid his attention sideways, looking to Sam with interest. He got the proverbial slap to the fact that he expected when he hadn't even cracked a goddamn grin, and so he swung his attention right out the passenger window, smiling broad just to get it out of his system.
Couldn't be perfect at everything. And so Dean cleared his throat and rubbed at his knees, nodding a few times and readjusting himself in his seat. ]
Start her up again. [ No, he wasn't shutting up. But he was the big brother. Shutting up wasn't part of the job. ]
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It wasn't his fault. This was harder than it looked. He had to do all these things in order, but the second he moved on to thinking about the next thing, he didn't get to it fast enough. It had to be natural, fluid, but how was he going to get it without practice? Wasn't like he was allowed to touch the controls of the Impala, uh, ever.
So Sam narrowed his eyes intently at his brother, like he could wish him to disappear if he glared hard enough, and said: ]
Jerk.
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[ Dean knew better than to reach across and fluff up Sammy's hair soothingly and so he kept his hands to himself. If anything, he should've stretched out more, gotten himself comfortable, been the biggest prick possible but instead he situated himself in the seat so he was at attention and looked over at Sam carefully. ]
You gonna keep tryin' to do it yourself or you want a few pointers?
[ Because Dean knew how Sam could be, wanting to figure it all out on his own. And they'd be here all night if that was the case, but if he could just get his little brother going them maybe they had a chance in hell as to letting him figure out how to start Baby up. Dean wasn't sure, they'd just have to get past this little grumbly hump between them, but he waited, eyebrows raised, trying to be innocent enough. ]
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Screw off, Dean. I can do it on my own.
[ Dean was right. Sam was determined to figure it out on his own - more now that his brother had been a jerk to him, and he went back to work on the car. Again the Impala reared forward, and this time it went five meters before it stalled, revving fast all the time. Sam was one brake pedal away from doing a rubber-burning race car start right there. Which would have been cool, if that was the skill he was trying to perfect.
He grunted in frustration and tried again, focusing this time on just stopping the car from stalling, and that meant it stalled even faster, not sure what he should do once the sputter started sounding, and not wanting to push on the throttle if he didn't know where he was going to go. ]
I can't--I can't do it! [ He yelped, after the third try almost ended up with the nose of the car buried in the sidewalk at the other end of the car park. ]
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And like, expected, he didn't have a clue what he was doing.
Admittedly, Dean was halfway worried they'd end up stalled halfway back out in the middle of the road while Sam had his tantrum, not entirely sure how to fix this without Sam getting offended one way or another, but he was still the big brother here. He still knew what he was doing, and if Sam wanted to learn, then he better start listening up. At least when it came to this. ]
Yeah, you can do it if you'd just lemme tell you how. Jesus, Sam- just- you wanna take half my advice, maybe?
[ Dean finally wrenched himself around in the seat a little, exasperated and trying to make a point. ]
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