Saving people, hunting things--the family business

[guzzles]

A brotherly PSL for texting and hunting stories with kickingand 

Comments

[guzzles]

I'm at the store. Anything you want?

[kickingand]

if i say the usual are you gonna come back to the motel with rabbit food

[guzzles]

If you mean am I bringing back salad of course I'm bringing back salad.

[kickingand]

then get me something thats the opposite of salad

[guzzles]

Heart attack in a box, check.

[kickingand]

good deal, just the way i like it

[guzzles]

Look, I know what to feed you, I just don't know what else you want

[kickingand]

are you trying to say i need a new stick of deodorant or?

[guzzles]

Depends, have you been using mine again?

[kickingand]

only if i see it there first

[guzzles]

Dude, you know I hate it when we smell the same. Like people need any more of an excuse to think we're a couple.

[kickingand]

we already use the same damn motel shampoo what the fuck do you think were gonna smell like. besides, one way or another we always end up smelling like crap, who cares. long as you dont smell like an abercrombie bitch

[guzzles]

Just use your own damn deodorant.

What else do you want from the store?

[roadtrippingly]

[ Sam had really blown it this time.

John Winchester was a tough cookie at the best of times, but it seemed to Sam that he just got on his goat more than he meant to. Dean on the other hand was good at playing the game, at getting John on his side and making sure that he stayed that way. Sam just couldn't help himself.

And this time? This time he'd driven his father to drink in the middle of the day.

It wasn't his fault. He wanted to go back to their house. He wanted to see the place where he was supposed to grow up. They weren't far away, right? Just a couple of hours drive. But he wouldn't make the trip.

Their dad had walked out the door, slammed it so hard behind him that a lamp fell off the table and smashed to pieces in his wake, and Sam had sat curled up in the corner beside the bed, holding onto the silence in the wake of John leaving, and just waiting for his brother to tell him off too. ]

[followsuit]

[ Dean had watched the whole thing implode.

He hadn't really known what to do about it while Sam was in the middle of begging, didn't know how to get his little brother to quit asking about something that was probably tearing up their dad inside in ways that Sam just couldn't comprehend. It was easier for him; he'd never lived there, never experienced those walls, didn't know what it felt like to stand under that roof. He'd been too small when the fire had engulfed the shingles and Dean just grit his teeth and bowed his head against it, refusing to say a word.

At least until their father had enough and went spiraling out of control in a silent kind of way, going on a quick and quiet tirade and exiting stage left, crashing a lamp to the floor as he made his getaway. Dean finally lifted his head at that and stared, blinked, grimaced a bit and then picked himself up from where he'd been sitting in the opposite corner, hunkered with his knees to his chest as he picked at his fingernails.

Wasn't Sammy's fault. Well- it was, but it wasn't. He didn't know any better and Dean knew that a little better than John did, which was why he cracked his back as he stood tall, tipping his head to try and coerce Sam out from his corner. ]

He did kinda tell you to drop it.

[roadtrippingly]

[ Sam was sour. He curled in on himself minutely, shoulders hunched, when Dean came over and looked at him. The last thing he wanted was to be told off again, but his brother had never made it easy to talk about things either. It wasn't really like Sam had anyone else he could ask, either way. It was what it was, and it drove poor Sam up the wall to have to live through it. He sighed, and lowered his head.

And Dean did start. As much as his tone was gentler than his father's, Sam didn't expect him to be any nicer about it at all. Why would he? He rubbed at his eyes with his wrists - he'd been crying - and then tore himself upright. He didn't have to stay in here. He was going to barricade himself in the bathroom. ]

What do you know!

[ And he tried to storm past Dean to get out of his corner. ]

[followsuit]

Sam, Sammy- Wait, okay? Just. Wait.

[ Dean boldly blocked his way, arms thrown out like some kind of football player attempting to block an oncoming onslaught, unwilling to let Sam storm his way through. He bumped into him one way and then the next, blocking him into his corner purposefully and refusing to let him go by because that's not what this was going to be about.

Dean wasn't going to harass him, wasn't going to start up another fight just because he could. He understood the urge to go back home, he did, but he also understood why it tore their father up. He just.. had a better hold on himself, and he slapped his hands down onto Sam's shoulders, trying to hold back all the fierceness in his body, waiting him out and putting up a fight through sheer willpower that he wouldn't stand down. ]

You wanna go for a drive?

[roadtrippingly]

[ Just because Dean was blocking him didn't mean that Sam gave up that easy, and he gave his brother a good sharp elbow to the shoulder before he gave up, glowering at him when he was held at arm's length. His brother was on his dad's side--he pretty much always was, and Sam had had enough of it.

But when Dean offered to take him for a drive he faltered, and while he was still blatantly pissed, he relaxed just enough to stop being on the precipice of wrestling his older brother to be able to run to the bathroom instead.

A drive sounded promising. ]

Yeah. Yeah, I wanna go for a drive.

[followsuit]

[ Ow.

Dean grunted at the sharp elbow that nailed into him and he grabbed Sam by the shoulders, holding him back a step purposefully, just to be stern about the whole thing. Just because he was offering Sam an ounce of escapism didn't mean that he wasn't the big brother here, and he scowled for at least a second before he eased off, heaved a sigh and took a step back. It helped matters that Sam relaxed as well, both of them returning to some semblance of their own normalcy.

As normal as they ever got.

But all of this still hurt and Dean just wanted to make Sam feel as if his little brother had a place within his family, that they were two against the world no matter what. He wanted Sam to know that he would save him in only the ways he knew how, even if he couldn't change their father, even if he never tried. ]

C'mon. We'll go grab something to eat. [ And with that, Dean was turning and walking off, hand on the doorknob while he waited for Sam to catch up. ]

[roadtrippingly]

[ Sam was still feeling pretty furious, even if it was hard to be angry with the offer of being taken out for food in the Impala. But that didn't stop him from thrusting his balled fists into his pockets and making the whole walk over after Dean a parade of grumpiness. His shoulders were hunched, his expression pinched and stormy - If you keep glowering like that then when the wind blows on it it'll get stuck that way -- and he made sure to scuff his shoes with every step.

Out the door they went, then across to the car, and he didn't look at Dean at all the whole time. When he sank down into the passenger's side seat, it didn't even occur to him to protest the possibility that they might end up at Plucky Pennywhistles. It was just good enough that he was going out in the car with just Dean, that he got to sit up front, and even if his brother wasn't going to let him pick out the music, at least he got to see over the dashboard for a change.

He was sullen and quiet until the care was moving. ]

I just want to know what it was like. Having a home, a place that you know. [ A pause. ] I want to know if I'd recognize it. I know I wasn't there for very long, and you're not supposed to have memories of being a baby, but maybe I would. Maybe. Maybe I'd know it was home too.

[followsuit]

[ Dean had no intention of taking him to Plucky's. Not because he wasn't enough of an asshole, but because now wasn't the time to be an asshole, and besides- any excuse to get himself into the front seat of the Impala was an excuse he could get behind. Besides, Sammy kind of needed it right now and to a certain extent, Dean understood it. Maybe he didn't voice those facts, didn't put words to the way he felt about the past they'd come from, but he got the need behind what Sam was feeling.

He understood wanting to look back, wanting to see. Just like he understood his father wanting to wipe it all away and stare forward, because looking into their past meant splintering your attention, meant grieving over what no longer was. Dean didn't know how to be both worlds, but he understood what each one implied and his little brother - right now at least - came first.

Backing the car up out of the spot, looking over his shoulder, Dean mulled for a moment before he turned and struck out forward, hitting the road and not looking back. ]

Don't think I gotta tell you how hard it'd be for him to go back there. And yeah, I know, before you even fuckin' say it Sammy, I know it's not all about him. I know, okay. But he wants our eyes on the prize, not on-- I don't know, us trying to remember the smell of fresh laundry.

[roadtrippingly]

[ Sam shook his head. His brother's explanation only made him that much angrier, and he grit his teeth, because he didn't want to be angry with Dean - he didn't - but sure enough he was repeating over more of their Dad's explanations, trying to convince Sam to fall for it.

He scowled, kicking his feet into the footwell. There was plenty of excess space down there, and Sam figured that sooner or later he'd be able to kick a hole in it. ]

I don't care what he wants, Dean. It's not like he cares what we want. When was the last time he heard what we wanted and made it happen, huh? When was the last time we stayed in a school I liked, or...I don't know. Stopped driving when I was feeling carsick?

[ He sighed, and turned to stare out the passenger side window. ]

It's not fair.

[followsuit]

[ It was valid. All of it was valid, more so than Dean usually knew what to do with, and for a good few seconds he just listened to the thud of Sam's feet in the footwell, pounding away at the floor of the car, kicking them both into oblivion. Dean wanted to have the right answers, but contradicting his father even without him in the vicinity seemed so wrong. Dean didn't know how to both be a good son and the best big brother at the same time and staring out the windshield only helped so much.

Sam was hurting.

Maybe it was one of those times where being the big brother just had to win out. ]

I get it, Sam, I do. He's a dick. [ Doesn't even leave us enough cash to get groceries half the time, he wants to say, but he swallows the words because that's his problem. Feeding Sam, taking care of Sam, that's his problem, and not something that Sam is meant to worry about or even hear. ]

I'm not sayin' he's not, I'm just- i'm giving him the words he's not gonna say. Doesn't make up for the shit he does wrong, I know, or the shit he makes us do just cause he says we've gotta, but you got me to make up for it, right?

[roadtrippingly]

[ Reticently, he looked up toward his brother, begrudgingly giving Dean the fact that he'd admitted their father wasn't the king of the world. It was a little gesture, but between them it was pretty big, especially considering that Sam had always thought that Dean was their father's biggest fan.

He bit his lip, and stopped kicking the car, sinking back in his seat a little bit, still sullen and miserable, but trying to not be as much of a monster. Dean was trying for him, so Sam would try a little bit as well. ]

Dean...

[ He looked down at his feet again, then away, then back to Dean. ]

Do we have to go get ice cream? Couldn't you...um. Couldn't you teach me to drive?

[followsuit]

[ Dean was their father's biggest fan. He was. That just didn't mean that Dean couldn't, occasionally, acknowledge his faults. It was nigh impossible for him to do it, even more so in the light of day, but evening had struck hours ago and Dean could speak the words without hearing them crumble along his fault lines, without wanting to apologize to his father's broad back. He'd just pretend he hadn't even spoken them later and they'd all move on with their lives, but for now, he and Sam were bonded against a mutual enemy.

And, Dean had thought, going to get ice cream.

Apparently not.

At the request, Dean glanced over a a couple of times, doing a double take and going between a furrowed brow and the crack of a grin within seconds. ]

You seriously wanna learn? [ It wasn't that strange of a request, Dean noted after a couple of moments, especially considering how old Sam was. Not that John would let Sam behind the wheel of Baby, but Dean wasn't John. ]